How a 'Bitch' addresses her man's ongoing bad social media behaviour
Hi Violet, I recently finished reading the book you recommended 'Why Men Love Bitches'. I've been the nice girl in my relationship for almost 3 years and I'm making some changes (which are working), following this life-changing advice from the book and your follow-up podcasts. My question is, how does a 'Bitch' address her partner's bad social media behaviour? I understand from the book men are hunters, but there's no reason for them to make it so obvious is there? Lately my partner has been hunting yoga teachers (he doesn't do yoga). Does the 'Bitch' ignore all of it and just walk away when she's had enough, or does she speak up and let him know she's watching. Letting him know she's watching seems needy to me, but how else do you change behaviour and set new standards for the relationship? I'm ready to be a 'bitch' on this one. Would love your insight. Thanks again for all your advice.
This guy and I last year used to be friends with benefits, I was going through a lot as was he and neither of us wanted anything more. We stopped speaking and we’ve started again. I’ve done a lot of self healing and I’m in a great place and it would seem he is also. When we used to mess about previously, we never went out anywhere, he would just come over and we would watch a movie and have food etc… however yesterday he took me for food to a beautiful expensive restaurant. It wasn’t a date, he said for a catch up. How can I go from being friend zoned to possibly more? I’ve already told myself I won’t be inviting him into my house like we did last year. And if we’re friends there’s no good night kisses etc… can you help me?
Devastated and not sure when to break up.
Hi Violet, thank you for this space to share our questions. I'm Australian and have been in a relationship with my Brazilian partner for 4 years. He came here 6-months prior to Covid and has not been back to Brazil to see his 76 year old mother in almost 5 years. He prioritised a 3 week surf trip to Maldives and Bali with his friends last year instead of returning to see her. For the last 3 months he has been talking about going to go back to Brazil this March, and has not invited me to go with him. It has not been mentioned, not once, it's just not on the table for discussion. I don't speak great Portuguese but I can understand some of what his mother says when she's on speaker phone and I know she invited me and my daughter to come back in December. Plenty of time to organise it back then. He just didn't mention it after or during the call even though I was sitting right beside him. She adores me by the way, and calls me her daughter. Last week, he told me his 6 weeks of holiday leave had been approved so he could travel, he called me to tell me and his voice was weird. I didn’t say anything, just acknowledged what he was saying and then he asked what was wrong. I said ‘as your partner, did it never occur to you to ask me to come with you on this journey home to meet your family?’ In the midst of my pain and devastation, he even asked me to help him book his plane ticket! (I said no). And he wants to leave his car in my garage and stay with me for 2 weeks when he gets back. I feel dishonoured, not considered and not in any way a prized woman or his partner. I suspect he wants to go back without me, out of sight and out of mind, and not be responsible for me while I’m there so he can just do what he pleases and have fun with his friends. As his partner, I sponsor his residency visa and have been by his side through a lot of the shit as he has been here trying to start a life here including two emergency surgeries. We have lived together off and on, and I’ve allowed that even though it breaches the rules around his visa. All my choices, buy clearly not great ones. This time it feels like a betrayal I may not recover from. Finding it hard to trust him. We are probably 2-3 months out from his permanent residency visa being approved and I don’t know when to break up with him (before or after the trip to Brazil). I am not sure I can give him 6 more weeks of my life. I would love your take on this. Thank you for everything! You’re gorgeous. xx